Ten Ways You Can Be a Better Friend! :)

“I found out what the secret to life is; friends. Best friends.” – Fried Green Tomatoes

It sounds simple. To be a better friend, you show up and support them. You treat them right and let them know that no matter what, you’ll be there for them through thick and thin. But I think there’s more to it than just being there. I think friendship takes work. Hard work. Even when you don’t see eye to eye, have very different opinions, you can’t give up on each other. Even when you both have contrasting interests and are going in different directions, you still need to make sure you’re in each other’s lives. You need to keep growing in the friendship even when life gets hard.

I found ten helpful ways to keep the friendships I have in my life still going strong through all the ups and downs life throws at us— including me moving across the country from them. I hope these are helpful and encouraging for you! 🙂

1) Make it a point to text or call your friend at least once month. If you can, once a week is better, but like I said, life gets crazy busy. Show them you’re still thinking about them and care about what’s going on in their life. By doing this, it will make them feel special and loved that you took time out of your day to reach out.

2) Meet up with them over coffee or tea to talk in person (hard for me right now, but when I visit Jersey— I 100% will). Let them vent to you about anything going on in their life and vice versa. It can be hard to always meet in person if you both have busy schedules, but if you can, it’s always better to meet up in person. And be open and honest about all that’s going on in your life and let them do the same. Trust is key in a friendship.

3) Put your phone away when you do hangout. Be fully present and give your complete undivided attention. There’s nothing worse than when you’re pouring out your heart to someone and they’re busy texting on their phone and half-listening.

4) It doesn’t always have to be serious conversations. Don’t forget to have fun! Get your nails done together, go to the beach, or go shopping and laugh and have a good time. When I lived close to my friend, Mel, we would go shopping at the Freehold Mall and spend time trying on pink, sparkly dresses then getting cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. We would have a blast and forget all about exams and papers we needed to get done for school.

5) DON’T JUDGE THEM. That’s a big one. Who wants to be friends with someone who’s judgmental and doesn’t support you even when you’ve hit a rough patch?? We need to feel safe to tell our friends everything— the good, the bad, and the ugly. Remember: nobody is perfect.

6) Pray for them. I always try and pray as much as I can for my friends— that they’re happy and content with their lives. And if they’re looking for a new job or having a tough time in a relationship, I’ll pray for that as well. Whatever they need help with, I pray for them. Prayer is so powerful and important and it’s always nice to include your friends in the conversation you have with God.

7) Be sensitive towards their feelings. When they open up to you, don’t shut them down or make them feel like they need to take your advice on a certain matter. They need to make their own decisions and need you to just say, “Whatever you decide, I’m here for you 110%.”

8) Words of affirmation. Show them love by saying they look great today— love the hair, love the shoes, etc. Tell them you appreciate them or any nice thing you want to say to them. Just make them feel loved by saying something positive about them every now and then. You can even do this on social media when they post a photo. Write a nice comment— make them feel fabulous!

9) Write them a letter! Letters are soooo thoughtful. Why? Because who takes the time to sit down and write an actual letter these days?? I do it every now and then and all my friends love getting one from me.

10) Stay loyal. Don’t ditch your friend to hangout with a boyfriend or other friend when you already made plans with them. It’s not only rude but shows them they are not top priority and not as important as the other people in your life.

Treating your friends right goes a long way. My three closest friends have been in my life for at least a decade now. And one friend I literally have been besties with since we were babies. Those are the best kinds of friends to have. Ones who see past your flaws and love you even at your worst. Go out of your way and show your friends some extra love today!

Surviving & Thriving

Hello Bloggers! It’s me again! I know, it’s been quite sometime since I sat down and typed away on my lovely blog. College will do that to you! It’s only my second week in, and I’m already exhausted. It’s normal- I’ve experienced this before, and I can certainly face it again. The fact that I’m very close to finishing school excites and terrifies me, all at the same time (I still have 2 more years, but I’m so, so close). Yesterday, I was seventeen years old and taking classes at Ocean County College (I took Public Speaking my first semester- it’s a miracle I survived). Today, I’m twenty-two years old and attending Cairn University, working my tail off to finish in May 2021 (possibly a semester sooner, we’ll see).

At the moment, my life consists of work, school, interning, babysitting and if I’m feeling wild..ME TIME. My days involve taking five classes, interning on campus for the office of Marketing and Communications, mentoring a new freshman, working at Panera Bread, babysitting Tommy and Hannah and having fun in the process. Honestly, I’m enjoying this crazy journey, even though it is somewhat stressful (at the moment). Once I get used to my new routine, I’ll be fine. Despite the busy schedule I have, God is good. I didn’t think I would make it this far because I’m a worrier and negative Nancy at times, but thankfully I’m here. I’m putting my best foot forward and pushing to achieve all the goals I set out for myself. I’m truly amazed by how much God cares for and loves me, always helping me succeed even when I’m terrified of failing (my biggest fear, next to clowns of course).

As I babysat Tommy and Hannah today (a cat and dog, a.k.a my cousins), I began stressing about the homework I needed to finish for tomorrow. While I worked on my assignments, my mom emailed me Bible verses about anxiety and how we need to give all our worries to Christ, who cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). There’s one, specific passage my mom sent me that really gave my heart comfort.

Romans 8:35-39 says,

“For who can separate us from the love of Christ?

Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate

us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Wow, just wow! I’m so in awe of God and the way he declares his love for us. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ! Nothing! If you’re feeling completely alone and hopeless, I highly recommend reading the book of Romans. Paul and other apostles faced persecution throughout their life on earth, all because they wanted to share the gospel with the world. When I take the time to think about it, I see just how ridiculous I’m acting! I’m worrying when I shouldn’t be! Paul and the apostles had far worse struggles than I do and they didn’t stress over it, because they knew God had their backs. How can I fail if I have God to lean on for support? Exactly, I’ll be just fine, so I need to calm down (I know, now a Taylor Swift reference..call me basic, it’s fine).

It’s crazy how God works! He knew I needed encouragement today, and in the very moment I felt anxiety, Mom sent those Bible verses over to me. And just like that, I realized everything will be alright (God works in mysterious ways).

Letting go of anxiety is refreshing! I finished my homework and made time to relax and cuddle with my furry cousin, Hannah. I had a nice Wednesday, because I let it go (I made a Frozen reference, deal with it). I let go of my fears and allowed myself to relax. Now repeat after to me- worrying changes nothing! It’s incredibly wasteful to fret over tomorrow, when we don’t know how things will turn out. I constantly need to remind myself no matter where I end up, God will guide me and lead me somewhere great. He wants the best for his children and will always provide for us. I take comfort and joy in the fact God deeply cares for each one of us (after all, he knows the number of hairs on our head-Luke 12:7). So you know what?? I’m going to survive fall 2019 at Cairn University! Take that junior year!!

And that ends my pep talk of the day! Good luck all you fellow, college students. If you’re reading this, I hope you found it encouraging to know we all face the terror of not succeeding- whether it be getting good grades, wondering if we’ll get our dream job, stressing over endless to do lists, etc. But if we give it all to God, he’ll get us through the tribulation and lead us to somewhere wonderful.

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Jeremiah 29:11 will always remain my favorite verse, because God himself promises in his word he will give us a beautiful, prosperous life if we trust in him. He knows our future and knows where to take us, all we need to do is follow him. Isn’t it lovely knowing our creator thinks about each of our futures and wants to make it the very best for us? 🙂