“I found out what the secret to life is; friends. Best friends.” – Fried Green Tomatoes
It sounds simple. To be a better friend, you show up and support them. You treat them right and let them know that no matter what, you’ll be there for them through thick and thin. But I think there’s more to it than just being there. I think friendship takes work. Hard work. Even when you don’t see eye to eye, have very different opinions, you can’t give up on each other. Even when you both have contrasting interests and are going in different directions, you still need to make sure you’re in each other’s lives. You need to keep growing in the friendship even when life gets hard.
I found ten helpful ways to keep the friendships I have in my life still going strong through all the ups and downs life throws at us— including me moving across the country from them. I hope these are helpful and encouraging for you! 🙂
1) Make it a point to text or call your friend at least once month. If you can, once a week is better, but like I said, life gets crazy busy. Show them you’re still thinking about them and care about what’s going on in their life. By doing this, it will make them feel special and loved that you took time out of your day to reach out.
2) Meet up with them over coffee or tea to talk in person (hard for me right now, but when I visit Jersey— I 100% will). Let them vent to you about anything going on in their life and vice versa. It can be hard to always meet in person if you both have busy schedules, but if you can, it’s always better to meet up in person. And be open and honest about all that’s going on in your life and let them do the same. Trust is key in a friendship.
3) Put your phone away when you do hangout. Be fully present and give your complete undivided attention. There’s nothing worse than when you’re pouring out your heart to someone and they’re busy texting on their phone and half-listening.
4) It doesn’t always have to be serious conversations. Don’t forget to have fun! Get your nails done together, go to the beach, or go shopping and laugh and have a good time. When I lived close to my friend, Mel, we would go shopping at the Freehold Mall and spend time trying on pink, sparkly dresses then getting cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. We would have a blast and forget all about exams and papers we needed to get done for school.
5) DON’T JUDGE THEM. That’s a big one. Who wants to be friends with someone who’s judgmental and doesn’t support you even when you’ve hit a rough patch?? We need to feel safe to tell our friends everything— the good, the bad, and the ugly. Remember: nobody is perfect.
6) Pray for them. I always try and pray as much as I can for my friends— that they’re happy and content with their lives. And if they’re looking for a new job or having a tough time in a relationship, I’ll pray for that as well. Whatever they need help with, I pray for them. Prayer is so powerful and important and it’s always nice to include your friends in the conversation you have with God.
7) Be sensitive towards their feelings. When they open up to you, don’t shut them down or make them feel like they need to take your advice on a certain matter. They need to make their own decisions and need you to just say, “Whatever you decide, I’m here for you 110%.”
8) Words of affirmation. Show them love by saying they look great today— love the hair, love the shoes, etc. Tell them you appreciate them or any nice thing you want to say to them. Just make them feel loved by saying something positive about them every now and then. You can even do this on social media when they post a photo. Write a nice comment— make them feel fabulous!
9) Write them a letter! Letters are soooo thoughtful. Why? Because who takes the time to sit down and write an actual letter these days?? I do it every now and then and all my friends love getting one from me.
10) Stay loyal. Don’t ditch your friend to hangout with a boyfriend or other friend when you already made plans with them. It’s not only rude but shows them they are not top priority and not as important as the other people in your life.
Treating your friends right goes a long way. My three closest friends have been in my life for at least a decade now. And one friend I literally have been besties with since we were babies. Those are the best kinds of friends to have. Ones who see past your flaws and love you even at your worst. Go out of your way and show your friends some extra love today!
The Chronicles of Chea K. 