How the Pandemic Changed Me

I’ve been thinking about the pandemic and just how much it’s affected my life. When I first heard about COVID-19, I didn’t think much of it. I wasn’t scared, anxious – nothing. But, then the lockdown started. I had to leave school suddenly, pack everything up, and finish the spring semester over Zoom. I couldn’t leave the house except to go for a walk at the park. I couldn’t see my friends. And if I did leave the house, a mask and gloves were my best friends.

It all soon hit me that this was a terrifying virus. It was actually a big deal. Two weeks turned in to four weeks… a year… and now nothing seems the same as it did before 2020. Sure, the virus is a lot better than when it first started, but life is absolutely not the same. And, it never will be the same.

I still see people wearing masks. I still see on the news people tragically dying from COVID, all alone in hospital beds. I still get nervous even if I think I may just have a bad cold or allergies. There’s still a good deal of worrying from almost everyone and fear running rampant all over the world. Everything has changed completely. It’s unreal. It’s all so unreal.

How My Life Really Changed…

I think the biggest change for me was not finishing college the way I had planned. I thought I would finally live on campus my last year (after commuting for years) and have all in-person classes and of course, get to walk at my graduation.

The spring semester of senior year got cut short, and I had to finish the rest of it online and over Zoom with barely a goodbye to my professors and friends. Then, my last, final semester (in the fall) I flew all the back to campus. I got some time to enjoy the college dorm life for a bit and see my college buddies again and even have a sense of normalcy. But, of course, I had to leave early (about half way through the semester) and finish the last few weeks online. COVID just had to get bad AGAIN… right as I was about to finish school – for good. They still had a graduation ceremony for my graduating class but it was moved to the spring of next year. I couldn’t attend because I didn’t live back east and it would have been difficult to travel back for the ceremony.

I was devastated. I couldn’t finish and get that experience of walking across the stage in my cap and gown, shaking the dean’s hand, and have my friends and family watch my big accomplishment. I still get upset thinking about it sometimes, knowing that I’ll never get that back. COVID-19 ruined what was supposed to be a happy, exciting time in my life.

Despite this challenge I faced, it taught me a lot. Life is messy, complicated, and disappointing at times. You’re not always going to get what you want and it hardly ever turns out the way we have planned. But, as christians, if we put our hope and trust in God, he’ll come through for us. A verse that has encouraged me in many ways, especially these past two years, is Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” What has happened and what will continue to happen is all in God’s plan. COVID-19 changed me and so many others out there, but maybe in a way, it changed us for the better.

Not getting to finish school the way I had hoped taught me not to take things for granted. It taught me that life is always going in all sorts of directions and nothing stays the same. Don’t expect everything to turn out perfectly.

It’s hard – there’s no doubt about it. There’s days where I still get very upset. But, when I do, I remind myself that God is all knowing and planned out my life from the very beginning. And, I can still find the joy and pride in that I finished school. I worked hard, and I got my degree. I still accomplished something, even if I didn’t get it in the exact way that I had planned and no one can take that away from me.

God is still good. He’s always so good. This pandemic is heart-breaking and is still continuing to cause problems, but God is good. Not getting the ultimate college experience is disappointing, but God is still so good – period.

God is working in my life each day. I really see it now more than ever before. I find myself drawing closer to him in these past two years. I think that has a lot to do with COVID. I really do. I’m not saying I love dealing with this crazy virus but I love how it has taught me God always has plan for us and even the bad times he can get us through.

He has a plan for those who choice to trust in him. He has a plan to those who seek him with all their hearts. He has a plan. I’m encouraged that through this storm, he is by my side and will always remain there. I’m encouraged by how powerful my God is. I’m encouraged that he still let me graduate on time and that I still got a little taste of the college experience.

I’m very grateful that even when I feel lost and overwhelmed he’s there. He’s there 24/7, waiting for us to call out to him and let him comfort our troubled souls.

The pandemic changed me and I’m thankful for that. I’m grateful because I found myself growing more in my walk with Christ and taking time to read my Bible and pray more, finally getting to know my Savior better each day.